Silent Diary's Questions

Silence is not silent.
Silence speaks.
It speaks most eloquently.
Silence is not still.
Silence leads.
It leads most perfectly.

Mr. Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and distinguished guests,

Today I would like to tell you a story about a person who was very close to me. I had shared all the good things as well as bad things of my life with him. I remember the exact date was 30^th November, 2006. He was watching a movie with his company colleagues. After the movie he moved back towards his flat. But he was unable to complete the journey. The auto in front of him took a U-turn without giving any indicator. He tried to evade the auto but because of speed and imbalance, there was a head on collision with the road divider. The bike skidded for some meters. It was a major accident.

People gathered, police was called who took the unconscious body to the hospital. His roommate was informed of the accident who called his family and other friends. His situation was very critical. One could not even recognize his face due to severe head injury and there was blood all around his face. The doctors declared that there are blood clots in his brain and probability of his survival was very low. He was in comma.

Everyone was devastated. His family, colleagues, and friends everybody was very sad. During this gloomy environment I picked up his bag that he always keeps with him. I looked inside it and I saw a diary. I knew that he used to write a diary but never got the privilege to read it. I started reading it. These diary pages made me think about various things in my life. These were pages of his dreams, of his desires and his fears. I would like to share some excerpts of it in his language only.

There were some pages on things he wanted to do.

"I want to attain my best potential. I want to do so many things. Good career, good friends, enjoyment and happiness in life but I don't find enough time to do things I want to do."

"I want to join dance classes, but I don't have enough time now. I shall do it later. I need to develop my photography interest, but what would people say. I shall do it later."

And when I looked at bedridden person I thought when will that "later" come and will he ever get time? Giving excuses and lack of time, this is how over life goes. Forget about next year, next week or next day could we claim that next second is ours?

There were pages where he had written about his shyness and how he was not able to talk and interact with people properly. How he was busy taking care of everything around his life but his life itself and now it all was at the brink of dead end.

There were lists of tasks to be accomplished and most of the items on those lists were unchecked. Now would these lists ever be ticked?

And then there were pages about his fears. Fear of future. How will it be? Will it shape according to dreams?

Fear of past. How will it affect the future course of actions? When shall it stop?

Fear of rejection, fear of changing situations.

I was heartbroken. What was outcome of these fears? Was it that bedridden friend of mine? Is life actually that hard?

6^th December, 2006, this was the date when my friend opened his eyes again. Last six days of his life had been wiped from his memory. Though he was still unable to walk or even talk properly due to extreme weakness. But he was back. Everybody around him was very happy. It took him some months before his life again started moving.

Then one day, I again by chance got hold of that diary. After accident only a single page was written on it. The page was again about fears and it said:

I feared the future.

Until I realized that Life just kept getting better.

I feared the past.

Until I realized that it could no longer hurt me.

I feared rejection.

Until I learnt to have faith in myself.

I feared failure.

Until I learnt that it is necessary for growth.

I feared my destiny.

Until I realized that I had the power to change it.

I feared being alone.

Until I learnt to like myself.

I feared change.

Until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a metamorphosis before it could fly.

I was passing through my life.

Until I chose to life my life.

Yes toastmasters, I am testimony of this fact that he is living his life according to his rules, his beliefs, and his dreams. I am not saying that he is very successful but definitely he is very happy. He is dancing, he is proud of his friends, he is interacting with new people, clicking new pictures every day and in most likelihood he would be a "Competent Communicator" today.

Mr. Toastmaster.