Silent Diary's Questions

Silence is not silent.
Silence speaks.
It speaks most eloquently.
Silence is not still.
Silence leads.
It leads most perfectly.

Mr. Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and distinguished guests,

Today I would like to tell you a story about a person who was very close to me. I had shared all the good things as well as bad things of my life with him. I remember the exact date was 30^th November, 2006. He was watching a movie with his company colleagues. After the movie he moved back towards his flat. But he was unable to complete the journey. The auto in front of him took a U-turn without giving any indicator. He tried to evade the auto but because of speed and imbalance, there was a head on collision with the road divider. The bike skidded for some meters. It was a major accident.

People gathered, police was called who took the unconscious body to the hospital. His roommate was informed of the accident who called his family and other friends. His situation was very critical. One could not even recognize his face due to severe head injury and there was blood all around his face. The doctors declared that there are blood clots in his brain and probability of his survival was very low. He was in comma.

Everyone was devastated. His family, colleagues, and friends everybody was very sad. During this gloomy environment I picked up his bag that he always keeps with him. I looked inside it and I saw a diary. I knew that he used to write a diary but never got the privilege to read it. I started reading it. These diary pages made me think about various things in my life. These were pages of his dreams, of his desires and his fears. I would like to share some excerpts of it in his language only.

There were some pages on things he wanted to do.

"I want to attain my best potential. I want to do so many things. Good career, good friends, enjoyment and happiness in life but I don't find enough time to do things I want to do."

"I want to join dance classes, but I don't have enough time now. I shall do it later. I need to develop my photography interest, but what would people say. I shall do it later."

And when I looked at bedridden person I thought when will that "later" come and will he ever get time? Giving excuses and lack of time, this is how over life goes. Forget about next year, next week or next day could we claim that next second is ours?

There were pages where he had written about his shyness and how he was not able to talk and interact with people properly. How he was busy taking care of everything around his life but his life itself and now it all was at the brink of dead end.

There were lists of tasks to be accomplished and most of the items on those lists were unchecked. Now would these lists ever be ticked?

And then there were pages about his fears. Fear of future. How will it be? Will it shape according to dreams?

Fear of past. How will it affect the future course of actions? When shall it stop?

Fear of rejection, fear of changing situations.

I was heartbroken. What was outcome of these fears? Was it that bedridden friend of mine? Is life actually that hard?

6^th December, 2006, this was the date when my friend opened his eyes again. Last six days of his life had been wiped from his memory. Though he was still unable to walk or even talk properly due to extreme weakness. But he was back. Everybody around him was very happy. It took him some months before his life again started moving.

Then one day, I again by chance got hold of that diary. After accident only a single page was written on it. The page was again about fears and it said:

I feared the future.

Until I realized that Life just kept getting better.

I feared the past.

Until I realized that it could no longer hurt me.

I feared rejection.

Until I learnt to have faith in myself.

I feared failure.

Until I learnt that it is necessary for growth.

I feared my destiny.

Until I realized that I had the power to change it.

I feared being alone.

Until I learnt to like myself.

I feared change.

Until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a metamorphosis before it could fly.

I was passing through my life.

Until I chose to life my life.

Yes toastmasters, I am testimony of this fact that he is living his life according to his rules, his beliefs, and his dreams. I am not saying that he is very successful but definitely he is very happy. He is dancing, he is proud of his friends, he is interacting with new people, clicking new pictures every day and in most likelihood he would be a "Competent Communicator" today.

Mr. Toastmaster.

Keira Knightley Sketch

This sketch was gifted to me by one of the greatest painter and my good friend cherry.
Thanks Dudette

Thanks BUDDY

"When I cry you help me out
When I'm happy you hear me shout
When I grin you know I'm really mad
because you are my best friend
You can tell when I'm sad

You're there in thick and thin
You're my best friend
You hear me out when I want to talk
You help me out when I get mad
You are the bestest friend I've ever had

So hear me out when I say
You're the light in my day
You are the moon in my night
You shine very bright
You are the bestest friend I have
and I miss you (and will miss you)"

Everybody is free to wear sunscreen - Baz Luhrman



"Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97,

Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or reliable then my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice....now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind, you won't understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded, but trust me in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults. (if you succeed in doing this, tell me how).

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of Calcium. Be kind to your knees -- you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40; maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body: use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance...even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions (even if you don't follow them).

Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings: they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but what a precious few should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal--wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me, I'm the sunscreen!"

Priya's Jinx

It is final that Priya (PVR) is jinxed for me. Whenever I go there, something invariably happens (Kaand) no matter what.

Kaand 1: MANGAL.....MANGAL....!!!

Day: Friday (Mangal Pandey is released)
Time: 7 p.m. (show will start in 15 mins)
m standing in very long queue for the tickets.

queue is moving with snail's speed towards the counter and m praying that god plz giv me tickets..(my roomy as always is on his phone...) glances towards me sometimes ...smiles and then again starts talking furiously...
ticket status above is showing purple....big movie...big hype... m victim of same...
finally m reached upto the counter (ticket status just reached red...grr...)

person (at ticket counter)--- soory sir , house is packed..
me----for next show...or do u have any ticket available...
person---- no sir... house ful for the weekend...
me--- hey bhagwaan...aamir ke itne fans??? (teri maa ki......)

(5 mins from show to start)
back to roomy...he is still on phone...shrugs... and back to phone...

just then a man( he is drunk..very drunk) approaches me..do you want tickets???
m---(yeah...lucky this time... this day is with me...aamir...main aa raha hoon...)ok, but i need two ticktets..
drunkard man---no problem
i gives him 120 bucks for the star class tickets...shows thenm to atul and backs my self that i got these lucky tickets.... jaroor

subah aaine mein apna chera dekha hoga...tabi to itna lucky lucky feel kar raha hoon...
(2 mins from the show to start)

entry...to hall..
ticket checker seem to notice that we have only single portion of ticket..(for non-pvr goers they must have three... out of which one is cut out at the ticket counter itself...other is torn out at entry and third remains with them... par yeh mujhe baad mein pata laga...)
but still he let us enter... so no problems... we checked out the new type of lazboy chair for display there...
(1 min)

just before entering to the hall i noticed that pvr's security staff is talking with the some police personal…with the same drunkard guy who sold me tickets... now this does not look good...

(30 sec...and we are in..)
we entered the hall sat on our seats.. fun part began when another two ppl came with the same tickets... we were led to the pvr manger ...

(2 mins after movie started)
manager---from where we got tickets... tell us or we are going to handle you to the police...
he told us about the drunkard person how he snatched the tickets torn portion from the ticket counter so we have the first portion which we should not...

we(ok...only me) ---ok... lets us go out
manager---no, u cant until the movie is over... or if u want to then u must submit ur driving license...
me---booohoooo...kahan phans gaye...#$#@%$$#
(10 mins after movie started)

u need not to be a rocket scientist to understand the plight of my roomy... poor creature... on altar due to my stupidity...

marte kya na karte..

me--- so give us another tickets
manager---house full
me---come on.. u cant lets us stay here for three hrs and not watching the movie...(damage control)
(15 mins after movie started)

after pondering over our sad situation he gave us ticktets...(for 90 bucks each.... standard class...)

so finally we are in and after 20 mins of movie is already passed...and get to see that Ardhnagan aamir is having bath in river while chanting some sanskrit....

my roomy is singing... "MANGAL...MANGAL..." in exact mimic of original... and thats when i started to dislike the song...

so finally we just escaped from the jail and watched a super crap movie for 210 bucks(my costliest ever...) while sitting in middle class...because i got myself robbed from a Drunkard person...Welcome to Delhi....




Kaand 2 : MI3


after mangal kaand i did went to priya for malamall weekly and got only front stall tickets and that too a side one(gandhi's idea) so watched it making very awkward angles of neck... it hurt for weeks...

and then after that last sunday went to see MI3 there. Seat status was blue but managed to clinch my tickets before it turned to red. checked tickets thrice... (doodh ka jala...)

entered quite early(5 mins movie to start)... located our seats... and sat...
me---arre yeh kya mujhe kuch gila gila lag raha hai...
roomy- wht??
m got up only to find that my jeans is dripping wet from behind... owing to pool of water( or may be coke)..on my seat....
sat on side seat... called up the lady who was helping in locating the seats...
she--- m calling up someone...
(movie started...)

person on whose seat i was sitting came and displaced me...(why this always happens to me...)

lady again came...

lady---- sit on the front row...(mine prev seat was 5th row....)...
i agitated...
lady---- wat could we do??? this is houseful show....
(5 min into movie--- villian is holding gun over a lady in front of cruise and counting and he is weeping...)

booohooo..(mujhe bhi rona aa jaata hai...)..so here we were again watching Tommy miyan doing his stunts... with neck in awkward positions...
neck is paining uptil now....

now situation is like that... if we dont get tickets on priya...(like recently with Krissh)... we felt relieved... pata nahi mil jaate to kya naya kaand hota....!!!!!!!!!

here i am...

Finally my blog has managed to see the light of the day. Cheers to everybody. As the name suggests this space will fry ur beja if u happened to take things or ideas or arbit rumblings done by me too seriously. This is my space and must contain the things which happen to me and all around me(and mind u they happen very regularly and each one is more vague than the previous one)
After each incident (or Kaand as my fren call them) i thank god and say...Phew! what a escape...
Happy Blogging
so here i go!!